Depressed

8 02 2011

Dallas seems like so long ago now. I’m blogging on an early Tuesday morning from the snug confines of my home in Panama City Beach. Isolated. Such fun.

I still haven’t found meaningful employment, which is taking its toll on my male bravado. I’m trying to stay active in the local political scene, but the powers that be are doing their very best to freeze me out.

David, my dear confidant, continues to preach the Gospels to me in an effort to snap my grip on depression. But even he is losing patience.

I figured, at the very least, I would get one job offer out of my run for State Representative. But so far nothing, notta, zippo. I continue to attend government meetings and my Twitter followers are rising, but still no paycheck.

Back in Dallas, where the economy is strong, I encountered many professional gay men my age who were enjoying life and their surroundings. They were empowered and had strong support groups.

I truly feel Panama City takes delight in my misfortune and struggles. If this is living out loud then so Be it.

I guess I’ll go down to the Soup Kitchen and Volunteer.





Like A Machine

3 01 2011

In the beginning, the campaign was tough. Very tough.

I was a political novice, taking on the establishment. In those early days, I would often remark than I was, ‘going against the machine.’ It was a nice play at words and a poke at Florida’s machine vote-counting method.

Yes, I was opposing the very political machinery running Panama City. A true underdog in every sense. My opponent was a popular incumbent, whose family had a rich tradition in the restaurant business.

He was elected by a 40 percent margin and no one dared throw their hat in when re-election time came. Four years later, with the economy in shambles and having been chewed up and spit out by some of New York’s finest, I figured, quite simply, I had nothing to lose.

“Some of the best politicians are never elected, John,” Jim noted as we motored out of Monroe on a warm Thanksgiving morning.

Like the year before, we stopped at a Holiday Inn in Shreveport for the Turkey Day buffet. It was a blue haired crowd — the average age had to be hovering around 80. Some had canes, others walkers and this made navigating the buffet somewhat challenging.

Jim didn’t care too much for his peers. Most of his associates were younger. He preferred it that way. I was probably the oldest chap to make his vacation cut, for a second time no less.

And I was much wiser this go around. Knowing what to expect helps. Ever the engineer, Jim was resistant to change. We stopped in Dallas again on the second night, at the same high-rise hotel on the westside of Downtown, near Love Field. The Cowboys were playing in Arlington that day and as we checked in, the last shuttle from the hotel was departing with eager fans dressed in their best blue and white gear.

It had been a rough year for the Dallas Cowboys. Mounting losses had led to the head coach’s dismissal at midseason. There would be no playoffs this year for America’s Team. We watched the game in the room and I listened closely to Troy Aikman’s commentary. He was trying to be fair, despite his strong ties to Dallas. I admired that.

The Cowboys played well before eventually bowing to the defending Super Bowl Champion New Orleans Saints. I’m often asked about my sports writing days and I usually remark about how those were the best days and nights of my life, little did I know it at the time.

I was a young ambitious reporter then. Not content with making 20 grand a year in a small Alabama town. The bright lights and ‘live and let live’ allure of the big city was too distracting. In Texas, it would eventually consume me.

Back in the Lone Star State, eight years later, I was ready to confront those bright lights again. So Jim and I headed down the Cedar Springs highway for a visit to the “Gayborhood.” Naturally, Jim had our evening itinerary already planned out, from the parking to dining and drinking.

Like a machine, that Jim.

And I was just a cog.

 





Monroe Management

20 12 2010

Monroe, Louisiana the night before Thanksgiving. Not even the gay bar is open. We did manage to find a local, independent restaurant by the river, built on warehouse site with beautiful cedar interior walls and a reputation for friendly service.

Jim went straight for the bar, passing by a pretty young waitress with no tables to serve. The place was empty, sans a few of the help.  When we pulled up the stools, the waitress, ever persistent, followed, but seeing three guys behind the bar, Jim didn’t give her the time of day. He put his order in with the bartender who turned to cook, who spoke to the manager, who approved and the waitress went home. Such a pro, that Jim.

We spent dinner mostly catching up on the past year’s events in local politics. Being a Republican, Jim kept his distance from my campaign. He did, however, attend our kickoff party on the Beach, which, as luck would have it, came on one of the most rainy and nasty days of summer. I recall my points on solar power getting a few chuckles that day.

After dinner we went back to the hotel, where a friend of Jim’s was working in the lounge. He was a native of Monroe and had seen Jim make this trip many times before. We chatted briefly about the economy, the oil spill, mutual connections in New Orleans, that kind of stuff. Nothing too probing.

The lounge was full with members of a wedding party. There were a lot of guys dipping smokeless tobacco and drinking out of bottles. Some made croonin’ attempts on the karaoke machine. It was rather amusing.

Jim and I retired back to the room after just one drink. As is customary, Jim sleeps with the television on, turned up loud — Fox News still his choice for information. We talked a little bit about Monroe. Jim told me how he did a lot of business with the paper mill here and the emergence of natural gas as a major industry for the region. Then he drifted off to sleep.

I settled into my bed and did a little social networking on my I-phone. The drive to Monroe didn’t seem near as boring as last year. I think my new glasses helped. This year, I was noticing different things, seeing people through different eyes and, there was no doubt, I was a different man.

Tomorrow we would give thanks — and we both had much to be thankful for.

 





Decompressing

13 12 2010

Hello All!

Just returned from vacation again with Jim. This year we were stronger, wiser and mucho mucho happier. I feel as if I grew up emotionally on this trip. I saw Las Vegas through new ideas. I met people with different perspectives, from different backgrounds and enjoyed our discussions.

At 74, Jim managed to drink me under the table. A former pilot, he adjusted to the altitude well. The Southwest continues to amaze me. The landscape so beautiful and the natives very hospitable.

It’s a newer America, wide open spaces, visiability for miles and miles. People live on ranches with large tracks of land. We city dwellers back East tend to forget just how close our quarters can be.

Monroe, Louisiana was the first stop again. An eight-hour drive from Panama City. It was the night before Thanksgiving and the city seemed quiet. There was a wedding party at the hotel and the festivities eventually spilled over into the bar.

This is where our adventure begins.

 





Post Election

8 11 2010

I am liberated.

It’s all over. My first attempt at public office was, if you take everything into consideration, a resounding success.

Sure, I lost by 26,000 votes. To the tune of 78 to 22 percent.

But, I remain optimistic about the future.

“You have a base,” Jimmy told me, just after I called to congratulate him on election night.

My campaign manager, a tough ol’ broad from Chicago, insisted I wait until after the 10 o’clock news to concede.

“Poke him in the eye,” she said, in between drags off a Virgina Slims, “If we can’t kick him in the balls, then we’ll poke him in the eye.”

Alvin, my trusted lawyer, advised otherwise.

“Call him now,” he said when the results from all three counties began pouring in and the tide of GOP frustration became apparant for all to see.

So, I didn’t wait for the 10 o’clock news. Much like I didn’t wait for this seat to be term-limited out.

Through it all, this campaign was about opening doors. Giving voice to a generation that had none. Providing a choice and making sure the process happened.

I’m proud of what I accomplished. And proud it is over….for now.





La Fiesta

16 09 2010

I need a creative outlet and this is it. Facebook has become too mainstream. Twitter is still developing. Here, I can be Frank. The campaign is going very good. Months ago, I was a joke. Ignored. This time last year, I was the subject of pity.
No more.
We are building relationships. Coalitions. Bridges.
What I witnessed tonight, inside a Historic Downtown Panama City tavern, was resilience.
I must remain humble, for the people I continue to fight for, are those who want a better life, are working for a better life and, God willingly, will have a better life.
Some of them do not have the privilege of voting. But it doesn’t matter to me. They are still my constituent and their voice is just as important as the big shot attorney across the street.
We’re going the distance … and there’s no looking back!





Follow Me on Twitter

28 05 2010

Gordon and I have had many meetings over the years.

I remember the first, inside a dingy coffeehouse in Downtown Panama City, where Gordon arrived — right on time — with cane in hand.

He lectured me about theater that day and he hasn’t stopped since.

“I going to teach you how to sit in a chair,” he said to me that day. His words still come to mind when I find myself slumping.

Meanwhile, the campaign is close to beginning. This is, what my consultants tell me, the calm before the storm. Tallahassee called today. They want to start organizing …. Tomorrow.

There is no turning back now.

“Keep a smile John,” Gordon always says before we go our separate ways.

Keeping a smile through November is going to be a tough act. Shouldn’t the challenger be angry? Shouldn’t he feel just a tad bit pissed off about the state of affairs in his District??

But we digress.

Anyone still reading this can follow me on Twitter @pcbjohnnymac.

It’s going to be a helluva ride.

Oh, and Gordon, I’ll see you soon.





Petitioning Complete

17 05 2010

So I ended up getting 171 signatures in a little under two months.

Not bad.

Could be better.

But, I must remain humble, after all, I am … a “Southern Democrat.” Rare breed in these here parts of Northwest Florida. But, as I am learning, there does seem to be a revival taking place.

Last night, my partner and I had the pleasure of attending a poolside fundraiser for the local Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered, Did I leave anyone Out?:), Organization. Incredible turnout and equally splendid display of talent. So good to see a community come together — even if only for a few hours.

From guitar ballad strumming musicians to powerful singers and beautiful gowns to sexy outfits, this party had it all.

I was, simply put, Amazed.

Now it’s on to the next stage of the campaign: Fundraising. I have a month left to get on the ballot.

Can’t give up now.





Petition Drive: The Final Week

10 05 2010

Mother’s Day is over. Thank God. But we will not go into that angst.

This is the final week of the petition drive. It will be a miracle if I qualify, but the process has been enlightening to say the least.

Things I have learned: 1. Bank employees aren’t real big fans of Democrats 2. Young people could care less about voting and move around way too much. 3. There’s about two degrees of separation between me and the District’s current rep.

Nevertheless, I have talked with a lot of people and listened to many concerns and issues. Never once has my sexuality been an issue.

This week includes more meetings and events and I will continue to forge ahead. I would write more, but, quite frankly, I’m exhausted. Good night.





Top 10 Duke Hotspots

13 04 2010

Haven’t been blogging much due to the Petition Drive. About a month away from the announcement. Have a meeting later this week with a professor at Florida State University. Going to have to brush up on the issues involving education.

In the meantime, here is a little fun piece I worked up in honor of those beloved Blue Devils. Used to love doing these Top 10s in college. Enjoy.

Top 10 vacation packages for Duke fans after winning the National Championship.

10. All expense paid trip to The Death Star.

9. Lush cruise around Snake Mountain, narrated by Skeletor.

8.  Bike ride into Chapel Hill … just to rub it in.

7. Walking tour of Wall Street. Greed is Good.

6. Weekend getaway to Transylvania. You know you want to sleep in a coffin.

5. Oxyparty at Rush’s pad in Costa Rica.

4. Anywhere Scott Brown’s pick-up truck will take you.

3. Backstage passes to a Broadway showing of ‘Wicked’ … and a free makeup kit as added bonus .. swag!

2. Hot air balloon ride over the Commonwealth of Kentucky, where you can drop leaflets declaring, “Who’s the Big Blue Now?”

1. A foreclosure auction in Hooville, hosted by The Grinch.